It's been four years since I held a word-related job (an academic instructional associate at a community college), and it's definitely showing to the hiring managers when I submit an application.
I don't blame them. We suffered something worse than a recession: a pandemic. The warehouse job I've held since 2019 definitely saved me and offered me more hours than I was signed up for because of everyone else forced to remain indoors. I thought, back in 2017 when I quit my college position, that I was ready to leave the writing world behind and focus on an industry that would be able to sustain me.
However, 2021 has been the most stressful and difficult year of my life. I lost someone I loved, and I've never experienced grief like that before and it took a long time before I even wanted to talk to family and friends again. But, as with all negative experiences, it also shed light on the lifestyle I was pursuing. Wake up, run errands, stress at work, shower, sleep, and repeat. I realized I didn't want that for myself.
I want to wake up excited for the day. I want to look forward to work. I want to be happy to be living the life I'd made for myself. Instead, I started therapy to help myself cope with stress and life management because of how miserable my current job makes me feel.
Don't get me wrong, I didn't hate warehousing in the beginning. In fact, I found so much enjoyment out of it with my last company. The guys I worked for and with genuinely cared about me and looked out for me. I experienced rough patches where I couldn't identify who I was, but it was the lack of writing that led to those emotions, not the job itself. This new warehouse job, however, led to breakdowns in the company restrooms and wishing I could quit on the spot and never look back.
Unfortunately, I needed the insurance, and I couldn't afford to walk away from that. Until now.
My husband has a great job with a company that offers benefits, and I finally realized I didn't have to stay in warehousing to get the insurance I need. Not only that, but I haven't needed doctors' visits like I did with my previous head injury, so any insurance coverage will provide what I need.
Needless to say, I can't explain all that on a resume, so I've been rejected almost half a dozen times in three weeks. Twice yesterday. But with the pandemic, so many creatives lost their jobs or full time hours and I'm competing with an even larger field than last time. Not only that, but these are individuals who never gave up on their writing careers, or who practiced writing regularly, or took unpaid or low wage positions to keep those credentials on their resumes.
I know everyone says writing is something you can start at anytime, and it's true, but it's not something you can get paid to do at any given time. I publish posts on my blogs and run social media branding for a food truck, but neither of those are paying my bills right now. It's hard, but for some reason, I don't want to throw in the towel. I want to see this through. I want to write again.
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